THE GENESIS

Prologue
This is a series based on the journey leading to my wedding and after. I learned many things. I also experienced a lot that made me grow up fast. I hope that as you read through the following pieces, you will learn a few things too. While I appreciate that all of our scenarios in life are different, we all learn from the experiences of those around us. In order for growth to be achieved, it is important to be open to learning. During the period of my wedding, I felt pushed and tested but I also picked up lessons. Some useful-some not so much.
 
EPISODE 1

               
                 **THE GENESIS**

I had a long, difficult adolescent period. My body was undergoing so many changes that I didn't know how to handle. I had read about these changes in class but all who told me about them skipped the part where they were to tell me how to handle all these changes. My mother tried, she told me to stay clean, to wear a brallete for my breast and to buy a Deodorant for the sweat. We never got to the part that tackled my ever increasing attraction toward members of the opposite sex. I don't know who told me but I always knew that it was prudent to wait to have sex after marriage. That was about all the sex education I received. I would later learn that sex with "boys" would get me pregnant.

Armed with my meager knowledge about what awaited me, I stepped into my adolescent life. I was eleven years old when I noticed my breasts sprouting. I was the only one in my class who was undergoing these changes so I did the best I could to hide them. I wore my heavy red jacket through the day and only took it off when I got home. I only got comfortable walking without my jacket when a few other girls sprouted breasts and they didn't water jackets. That made me feel safe and only then did I believe that I was okay.

 I sailed through the next couple of classes going through the motions. I didn't know I could talk to someone about what I felt. I learned to go through my problems until they fizzled out or I found a way out. This is a skill I carried with me through my adulthood. I began to dress differently so that I could catch the attention of the older boys around me. For some reason, I did not fancy the boys in my class. They seemed so childish. My confusion coupled with my need to be perfect led me to set up some defences of my own in order to cope. I increasingly became isolated and developed a sharp tongue which made people think twice before they interacted with me. I moved my desk to the back of the class and stayed without a desk mate through my class six and part of class seven as it was known then.

He walked into my class and my heart literally skipped a beat. And after that it began to beat fast and would not slow down. Since I was the only one without a desk mate, he was assigned to be my desk mate. I noticed on the spot that he was a little older than my classmates and I felt so excited. In his presence, I felt the need to be perfect. In his presence, I felt like the quality of air was different. I have never known how but I learned so much about him in a very short while. The reason why I did not know how I had all that information about him is because he and I rarely spoke to each other. We communicated almost telepathically.

He had a certain inexplicable effect on me even at that age. I loved it but I didn't know how to handle it. I needed to be and feel perfect under his gaze. Despite my sprouting breasts being a source of embrassment at the beginning of my adolescence, they were now a source of pride. This is because in my eyes, he was an older boy who would appreciate my "becoming into a woman". I was now eager to try out bras because I had someone to show my body off to. I could not wait to take my sweater off so that he could see that I was not such a small girl.

I took it upon myself to watch over him and take care of him. I told myself that one day I would marry him. We found a way to mutually help one another in our studies. I was poor in science while he was poor in English. We found a way to help each other out. Without words, there was a certain push between us that made us want to make it on behalf of the other. We were a team and both of us worked hard for the team. Needless to say, we both passed our final exams.

There are moments that still stand out in my life to this day. Moments where he made me feel so special. He made me feel I mattered.

The first was where he wrote me a short note asking if we could be together. He first apologized and then proceeded to state his case. This gesture melted my heart. It was the first letter I had received from a boy any age.

Secondly, he was careful to apologize incase he had offended me. In hindsight, I think he wrote that because he knew how explosive I could be. Still, it was sweet. Of course, I replied in the affirmative. I had to get boy letter writing skills from my friend but I sent one back.

The second was a lyric newspaper cut out. Mmmmh, those lines were deep.

The third was a success card for my KCPE exams. The only other people who had sent me a card that size were my parents. It was around this period that a certain girl who was my namesake and a class lower than me presented herself as my competitor. She flaunted a small success card she had sealed and addressed to him on my face for so many days before informing me that she had sent it. For the first time since my interaction with him, I felt a tad jealous.

However, what he did is and will forever be etched in mind. It is the most special thing a man has ever done to me even though technically at the time he was a boy.
He sent me a second card that same evening that the small girl had sent hers. This was to reassure me that we were good.

We sat our final exam. He sent me what was to be the last letter he would ever write me. In it, he was basically asking me to prepare for our separation because he was not sure we were ever going to see each other again. I cried my heart out but there was little I could change. I was to later meet him when I was in second year in campus.
       
                **. - End of part one-  **