Love is...

Okay,so today we are going  to do some creative writing.
You know something from my head, a fictitious story. Okay, here I go...

That little,jealous woman who left my boyfriends room number on my desk is the
genesis of the following events.
I knew that we were no longer what we used to be but I was not in the business of looking for evidence. I was not ready to face my truth yet.

However,when the evidence does come up, well,how would I ignore it?
I showed up at Hotel Pronto at 7.00pm.Determined, I pressed button number 2 which would take me to second floor. And then,there I was, infront of the room knowing all too well that once inside,that was it.
I swiped the key card on room 37 and voila,I had crossed the line.
Lying on the bed was a beautiful picture.
The woman comfortably settled in the arms of the man. She was too relaxed, completely letting herself go in the man's arms. The man,though asleep still tightly held the lady,the protectiveness with which he held her was sweet.
Only problem,the man? He was my man..My Paul.
I tried to remember such a time with me and all that came to my mind was a blank slate. Sure,there were good times but not this type of serenity.
 I just stood and watched these lovebirds sleep,my man periodically kissing her forehead,her neck,her hands.
I stood and watched as my man tightened his grip on the woman.
I knew this girl,this woman who had seemingly given MY man what I had not managed to give him apparently...
I knew her....

(...To be continued)

THE SHOW MUST GO ON....

In the words of Alessia the musician,the author of a song that is fast becoming my favourite "Scars to your Beautiful", -" ...there is beauty in pain what's a little bit of hunger...".
Then it got me thinking about how little we think of the things that do not quite seem great.The times we have lacked,the times we don't quite fit.Beauty has been closed in a box of flowers and chocolate and stars.Beauty is what makes us ,us.

Beauty is getting over fear of putting on clothes that fit because of not being sure you have the right body.
Beauty is your larger appetite which people find unbecoming of a woman.I mean,it is what it is,that part of your life is you and it is beautiful.

Beauty is being able to tell yourself that the day to day decisions you make in life are decisions that are made by you and for you.
As a woman or man but especially woman,you need to understand that those low moments which look impossible to climb out of are what makes you stronger.I am not even joking.
Sometimes, the decisions we make in our lives look like the death warrant of our success,of our happiness.However,each of this experience, however deep it takes you,you have got to believe that there is a light in the darkness.

Life is a stage,us- actors.There are times that the spotlight is on you.And then it is gone, you are just an onlooker.You need to learn as you look; you need to learn your lines by heart,you need to pick your cues,you need to make sure you have the right costume for when the spotlight is on you and its time to deliver your part to the world.

Rape,abusive relationships,lack of money,low self-esteem,less than decent pasts are some of the things not considered beautiful. They are beautiful because while going through them,and overcoming them; you are better,you are stronger.
You have only got one life, this one you are living now.

The scars in your life have carried you to this point in your life.
And each of them is beautiful.
And even though they came with tears and sadness and lack of sleep and ridicule and rejection; the show must go on....
I have learnt these things through my own life.If I had a dollar for every wrong turn I have taken, I would buy BoraBora Island(I don't know how much it costs,I am guessing a lot).
But I am not who I was yesterday, I am better now.I value myself more now than I have done in my life.

Recognize the beauty in your scars, take your spotlight and let's keep the show rolling....

AUNTIE BOSS now needs you!!!!

So,not that the most watched local program is in trouble,nooooo.
What I mean is, the amazing local program has received 9 nominations.

This is a call for you to vote for them.
Auntie Boss, has been on our screens every week making you laugh and it has literally re-defined local programming in Kenya.
It has broken what has been known as the norm on T.v and the risks everyone involved has taken have led us to this moment.The moment where we have been nominated for the Riverwood Academy Awards.

Auntie Boss introduced to you Nice Wanjeeri as Shiro,the clumsy but likeable housegirl. It also brought you Silprosa played by Sandra Dacha; while everyone was wondering where Eve of Hits not Homework went to after she quit radio,voila,there she was as the rabid girlfriend Varshitta.
Maqbul,once again graces our screens with his undeniable talent playing Donovan.And then there is the amazing Matthew Mamangu who has literally grown up before your very eyes playing Kyle and has been nominated for Best Supporting actor in a T.V series.

All these actors have made you laugh ,cry,hate and now they need you to vote for them here so they can win.

Behind the scenes various crew members ensure that the quality of Auntie Boss is beyond amazing.

This time our Director(s) Arnold Mwanjila and Likarion Wainaina have been nominated for Best Director while our quiet but amazing editor Nicholas Kibathi picked a nomination for Best Editor for a T.V series which is Auntie Boss.

You can vote for them here.
Thank you for always watching Auntie Boss,and if you don't,you need to.

WOMEN are a WOMAN'S own STRENGTH.

I am a woman who has been at her lowest wondering when the light would come.
I am a woman who has ever wondered whether I had an inbuilt system to work my life.
I am a woman who has had and is working hard to simply believe in herself.
I am a woman who has cried herself to sleep more times than she can remember.
I am still a woman who has tried many things, failed,picked herself up and tried again.
I am the woman who got pregnant in campus while in church,gave birth and got back to fixing my life.They say,even though the broken pot can no longer carry water,it can be used to plant beautiful flowers.
I am the woman who will reach ALL her goals and fulfill her dreams before making a dramatic exit from the world.
I am the woman who is God's masterpiece,I am beautiful; I am stronger; I am bolder; I am a lover(of me mostly).

Along the journey of mending my wounded self-esteem.
I  have met amazing women along the way and I would like to celebrate some of them in this piece.They have simply inspired me by the way they live and deal with what life throws at them.
Open-mindedness and ready for any challenge are the two words to describe my super friend Yvonne.

Resilience and hardwork are traits that I surely admire in my boss LucyM. She stays up late and works tirelessly to just make sure that her projects come to life  and are sustainable.

Self love and Self confidence in one Sexy Sandie made me love my body for what it is.I appreciate that I am curved and there is nothing wrong with my body.And that name is her name.She is such a hardworker and is very thorough in her work.

That what I do and how I do;it is great !This is a philosophy I have learnt from one Ruth Make-up. She has come from so far in life  and I admire her spirit for life and her love for God.

Life is a party meant to be enjoyed is what I take away from my dear friend Issa.Yes,she is a woman.In full it's Isabelle.Oh,the woman loves life and I am pretty sure her love for life has greatly influenced her growth and progress in life.

My mother should be just about the most chilled woman I have met in my time. What people think about her rarely fazes the woman.She is so sure of herself and that,to me is very admirable.

In our healing journey,we sometimes need a little help on the way even though we need our own initiative to be able to pick up on traits from fellow women that we can model into our own lives so we can become better.They say;"Ladies, lets  get in formation,prove you got the coordination."We really need each other sometimes.Really.

I am incredibly blessed to have met these amazing women in the time I have been alive and I owe it to God to become the best version of myself.

And from the bottom of my heart,I pray that they will always keep inspiring their surrounding.

PAIN IS THE EMOTION,HURT IS THE FEELING

Hallo friends and a great 2017 from yours truly- me.
Thank you for being here and being able to read my stuff,it's like listening to me talk which is one of my favourite things in the world.
We like to celebrate life when good things happen,we like to notice and hold onto the good things that happened in our lives.We often trivialize or altogether fail to appreciate the not-so good that happens even though all the good and bad all come together to complete this fabric called life.
When addressed in the form of art such as music or written prose or a painting,it is often too heavy to handle but(pause),it is there.The not so great times in our lives are present.

Some of us are equipped to handle the heavy stuff that comes our way but a good number of those around us are not.Lifes tides often overwhelms them and we refuse to see or are unable to handle them when they are at their lowest.Its happening even amongst our peers,our friends being unable to handle the 'too much' that is thrown their way.Feelings of severe despondency and rejection (I got that from Wikipedia)-DEPRESSION.We have sometimes gone to a certain extent of losing our loved ones in one of the worst ways to lose loved ones(not that there really is a good way anyway).
They commit suicide.
But what happened? He was in medicine school,he was a promising camera guy-we even just shot a short film,she was a great fashionista(those who get away with matching polka dots,stripes,checked in one outfit),she was such a chatter box....But what happened?

Sometimes,the only emotion is pain,The feeling-is-hurt.
Talking and talking but never really getting heard
I try to keep my head above the water but under it I can feel something
The years keep passing by and it feels like am stuck in a damaged time machine
I am surrounded by my peeps but they never really see me,
The only emotion I relate to is pain,the feeling is hurt.

They keep saying to find inner strength but I have nothing,
When I am down and the figures above me are only moving forward
And as I grapple on the gravel,scarring my hands in the process,tryin' hold on to something,someone,
Pain is the only emotion and the feeling? The feeling is hurt

When I give all to a man and it is not enough
When I search inside me to give that which I do not have
When all I am left with are parts of me,
I am broken but nobody reads through the smile that does not quite reach my eyes,
Through the glimmer in my eyes that are tears threatening to come through anytime
I am screaming' Hallo!!!!!!!!" But all I get is my echo,
All I really feel is pain

And a new day is not welcome,it's not new to me,
It's just another scene in my script filled with lines of hurt,
I am right there,in the rain,sinking deeper and deeper in the mud but everyone is locked up in their houses safe and sound.
So,I pick up the blade and slit my wrists slowly,it has to be this way,the pain is the only emotion I got.

--------------------------------------------------Epilogoue
I am not asking to be dependent on anyone.All I am saying is when your outgoing girlfriend suddenly quits all social media sites,maybe it's a cry for help.When suicide becomes a fascinating topic with your actor-friend,maybe you should pay closer attention.Because sometimes when the only emotion these friends of ours start feeling is pain,it may be too late for both of you.

(Depression is real,it's important to understand the signs and offer help as far as we can.)

WHAT A YEAR!!!! WOOOOW!!!

2016- It came and is just about to leave.How was it? Nobody has asked me this question,they all want to wish me a prosperous ,happy 2017.So,like so many people,I would like to look back on a few issues that made 2016,the year it was,for me at least.

a) Personal Growth
This has been a very successful are for me.I have understood that I talk a lot and many times seek the services of my brain later.So,this year,I tried to engage my head on a few occasions because I discovered you cannot live like that forever.I was also able to deal with my short-temper but I did fall sometimes,only sometimes.Things have taught me that I am stronger than I have given myself credit for but that is a lesson I picked up this year.
I have began my lessons on finding happiness and 'completeness' in solitude.
I am grateful for the circumstances that shook my being for in them I became stronger.

b)Finances/Income
Haha,whaaaat finances? That is probably what my bank account would ask.This was very elusive this year.However,it was the year,I visited an investment institution and saved some money from some money I got here and there.
2016 was the year I discovered I had an entrepreneurial spirit:how did I sell clothes and soap to survive?
I am grateful for the times I didn't have any money,for then I appreciated the times I did.

c)Friends
I acquired new friends in the most unlikely places.Some are still around, some served their purpose and left.I discovered things I did not know about some of my friends and got to appreciate them in ways I have never done.
This was the year I mentally erased people in my life from the folder marked friends and filled that space with other names I consider worthy.
It was the year I discovered that money and friends is not the best concoction to use in the dish called life.
I am grateful for the ones who left because then I appreciated the ones who stayed.

d) Family
I spent a good amount of time with family and for the larger part it was filled with laughter.
I am greatful for the times we did not talk because then I appreciated the times we talked and laughed.

e)God
Isn't he great? Oh,I think I have interacted with his word more in this year than I have all my life.It has been such a revelation and  my oh my,what a journey it has been.
I am grateful for the good,the bad,the hard,the easy because of them I appreciated that all in all you are GOD.

f) Fun
Do you know I actually paid for a trip outside town.Me,who is always worried money will end.
There was indeed something about 2016.
I am grateful for the times I chose to watch life go by because now I appreciate the times I got into the party and had a little fun.

g)Men
Oh men!!!! You have disturbed me this year,tho!!!!! The ones who left, the ones who resurfaced from God knows where, the ones who never noticed,the ones who made entrances then left as abruptly as they got here.
Ah!
I am grateful for each of you creatures of God because you made me appreciate the woman-Gloria.You made me appreciate the One who was is on the way.But most importantly you made me appreciate just how special I am.

Lastly,to all of you who took time to read my pieces,to share my pieces,to correct grammatical errors,to comment,I am grateful,super grateful actually.
My message:
You need to understand that you are made in a special way and even though not everyone will appreciate you,appreciate those who do.
That,you can actually do that which you think you can,you can learn that which you don't know.
That,I will be praying for you.

Duly signed,
Grateful me-Gloria Tsuma Owichira
PS:Almost forgot-
How was 2016?

FAMILY,FAM-LIE FARMILIAR?

Family is supposed to be a unit where one feels safe. Most of the time it is a unit of association connected by blood.This blood association,in my opinion makes members get away with so much.
Let me pick one that gets to my last nerve after a man beating up a woman.
Female Genital mutilation.I am talking about the intentional mutilation of a woman's clitoris for whatever misguided and outdated reason known to these bad people.

I am going to try and explain in a very simple way what this archaic habit does to women.It completely and utterly destroys her genitalia leaving only a tiny hole to pass urine.Do I need to say that this very natural process ceases to be natural and is a conscious effort after FGM? Some take up to 20 minutes to pass urine,a process that would normally take what? 3 minutes tops?

The pain caused by this inhumane act is very much. There is pain at every stage: during the cut,after the cut,before the cut.They make every bodily function that is supposes to make a woman,woman very painful.
Mensturation is a nigtmare, sex is like a bad bad scary horror movie and the most beautiful task performed by a woman-childbirth- unfathomable.
For those who are at least lucky to get pregnant: some end up sterile due to the many infections that keep recurring after this procedure.
This particular woman was born healthy and fine, with dreams of having her own family,and then because of some ungodly reason,someone decides to take away her clitoris.

Some girls die in the process. That you get,I don't need to go into detail.

FGM is illegal in many parts of the world.Yes,it is performed in countries other than Kenya.
However,this practice is still very much alive.
How? The answer is US.
Us- is the father who looks the other side when the season for circumcission is nigh knowing full well that his daughter is at risk.
Us is the mother who gladly serves tea to the old men who have come into her homestead to discuss the dowry payment of her twelve year old daughter. She knows that this old man will be expecting a child without her womanhood. She has undergone the same,she knows the amount of pain a penile penetration brings,she knows she will never know the joys of a sexual climax yet she sends her daughter to the blade.

Us is the sister who gently tells her younger sister that all will be fine when she knows full well that her sister will have to hold her urine for several days because the urine might hurt her raw wound.She knows that this will cause her problems.
She knows that her sister may die on that mat because her childhood friendMo never did return home after the'ceremony."

Us is the chief who looks the other side when she sees a group of women talking in whispers and heading toward a particular house just because a certain old man sent a tiny,malnourished goat to his house.

Us, is "fam-lie". It is a lie because what kind of safety would rob me of the very thing I was created to be.What kind of association would watch me go through so much pain with a satisfaction of having fulfilled the needs of tradition or whatever else?
Does this sounds familiar?

( This article is not exhaustive on terms of just how bad FGM is.
I would also like to acknowledge that there are girls who have manages to pock themselves up and proceeded to finish school and are leading in the fight against FGM.There are so many,however,who are still losing lives and living miserably because of FGM.
The people against it are shunned by their own communities and women who refuse the cut are even shunned by their own husbands forcing them to undergo this inhumane procedure for the sake of peace and acceptance.
Should you get any opportunity, kindly stand against this procedure.
And if you are a survivor ,a witness,or know anyone who is,kindly get in touch,I would love to share your story.One story at a time,let's get talking and stop this senseless ritual.'
Email; gloriatsu@gmail.com