REALLY, GOD DO TAKE IT FROM HERE

Thank you so much for being there in this crazy journey I call story telling. I hope to be here for a long time and that we grow together.
I love the Lord with all my heart. And through my life I have gone through so many phases which have sometimes left me wondering about my relationship with God.Either way,God has been faithful this far.
I am at a point in my life that I have never been before. I always take so much care of my heart, my money,my soul and all that I am just so I am not vulnerable. It has been like that all my life,it has been hard for me to even act (career wise),because to fully bring out a character well,an actor has to tap into their vulnerability.
That is a story for other days.As I was saying ,I feel like I am floating in the middle of a big lake,kind of the one DiCaprio was floating in in a bid to show his love to that lady(Titanic).I am not dead,nor I am I at depression, if anything I am the busiest I have been in a long time,you know since high school.But that is just it,I am busy but nothing really makes sense.
The joy of a new day is almost non-existent and I have began resonating with pain and violence in terms of movies and even novels.It's almost as if hope is hurtful.I am just floating in a frozen lake and lifting my head to look for the shore of the ocean hurts my neck.
Okay, I am done with my sad take,here comes the big BUT.
BUT,I have a hope .A hope in Christ Jesus,this is something I know.It is something I am aware.Now,if I can just relate to it,if I can just understand it,believe it for me,I have faith that I would have more peace and I can float to the shore safely. So,I want to make this prayer to you God,that take it from here.
God, take away the hurt of a heartbreak and replace it with a contentment that you are the lover of my soul.Because only you God can fill an empty heart and mend a wounded soul.
God,provide for my needs.You know that I need fare,I need credit,I need pads,I need food.I am tired of acting like I am on a diet yet it is the lack of money for food that makes me go without food.God,provide my needs.
Dear God,help me make the right decisions in life. Do not make me give in to desperation and make harmful choices.
God,you know that I need a career or something, a job that I love, that I am good at because anything that I am not good at,anything that I am not passionate about will kill me.I believe that you made me good at something for a reason. So,dear Lord I know that you will give me a position in that line.
Lastly,thank you for all the experiences I have had through my life.Because, you are alive and active,because you are an all seeing God,I know that you can see me and nothing goes by you that is accidental.Therefore,thank you.And through this experience,Give me Grace to know that you are God.Give me Grace to be still and know that you are God.
I guess what I am trying to say is that "God,really (meaning totally) take it from here.My strength is done and am sorry that I tried in the first place.