WHAT EXACTLY DOES IT MEAN?

I was super excited when he told me that we would be going to see my mum.
"Just a small meeting he said,I just want them to know who their daughter is with".
Yeeeei,this was finally happening. Surely this was a sign from God and the universe that he was my the one.He had said this out of his own volition,I think.
Things were finally getting serious,I could literally smell a wedding, I re-embarked on my chiffon wedding gowns research with a renewed vigour.This time I didn't do it quietly,I even asked for opinions from my roommates who have grown into my sisters.
I was justified to be googling wedding dresses because I had run into a wedding ring at HIS house some time and being the kind of girl I am,I thought that it would not take long before he popped the question. I was sure that was the ring because he had told me countless times that he knew I was the one from the first time he saw me.

Fast forward but not too fast because you might miss the moment. HE( his and he is what we are calling the male in question).
HE texts and reveals that he feels like he wants to die.Alas! But why?

Well,there was the routine back and forth of the female inquiring why and HE reitaraiting severally that he needed to think about his life with the female conspicuously missing from that soul finding whatever. Those were bright red lights on a road in Nairobi's CBD with the kanjo in action.

Within 3 days,a one and a half year relationship had moves from meeting my parents, getting engaged to a solo soul finding mission.

It took me ten minutes to cry my heart out(my friend told me that hurt longer than ten minutes is a choice).

The most interesting part is that he actually planned to plan a meeting a week later during which that period he did not communicate to break what seemed to be very heavy news to me.C'mon,I may not always seem that way but my intuition is always on point and is helped by the fact that I am a grown woman.

So,HIM aka HE out there, get your act together before getting into something and realize many days later that perhaps it wa not right for you.

And I have to give credit to the Almighty God for the courage and strength so far,and his assurance that it will be okay.

By the way,what exactly does finding oneself mean?