Friday 13 March 2020

FINALLY LEAVING THE BRIDGE...



A lot of water had run under the bridge but Bridget was still at the bridge. Sure, a lot of things had also happened at the bridge but the point is, she was STILL at the bridge. The bridge where it had all ended. A 3 year relationship with Daniel. One day she was in a relationship and then she was not.

Bridget was married now. His name was Ralph. He and Daniel were as different as night and day. Sometimes, when she was alone with her thoughts, Bridget would often wonder how she could have loved these two men who nothing alike. Ralph was simply a good human being. He was a happy person. Ralph was proud to be the man that he was and that is what made him the most attractive.Of course he is also very good to look at.

Bridget almost chocked on the strawberry-vanilla milkshake she was having at a popular cafe. That voice-she knew that voice. Daniel always said her name with a certain thick luhya accent which made it sound like it had way more syllables than was intended. "Bree-jee--ti. " She quickly composed herself before she looked up and almost certain she had achieved the clam necessary, she managed a smile and replied, "Hi, Wafs". Wafs is short for Wafula. That's what she called him during their time together. In his typical way of making himself look polished and important, he continued, "Wow, long time. May I sit?" Bridget simply pointed to the chair. This resignation was a result of her unsuccessfully trying to find an excuse for not allowing his request.

Now what?
"So, how are you?", she began, determined to take the lead of the conversation. "I see your posts on Instagram(Bridget was not one of those who said IG), they are quite motivational." she  concluded her opening speech.
Wafs readied himself to respond, in his typical "maringo" way. The English word eludes me. Bridget remembered how  that particular habit had always annoyed her and she inwardly congratulated herself for not being with the man. She briefly allowed herself to compare Wafs to her husband. Her husband would smile for a couple of seconds. Then, he would go on to ask how she was doing?
In other words, Ralph was genuinely interested in the affairs of her life. Wafs was always on the defense even when there was no case or attack.

The familiar slurr of her name brought her back from her wandering thoughts.
 "Bri-ji-tee, eih, kwani akili iko wapi?" he was asking.She felt her lips thin out into a "smile".
Looking at the man in front of her brought back all the times she felt inadequate at his side. She remembered all the times she struggled to change herself so that he would look at her as someone whole, no, scratch that, something whole. She looked at him and remembered the way he worked hard to transform her into a trophy girl. She particularly remembered the day he was so mad at her for not dusting the house because she had to go for an early audition. Bridget was an aspiring actor. She ran a hand on her head and remembered how she had endured the heat of weaves on her head because Wafs did not like women who cut their hair. Bridget clearly remembered how frustrated she felt because she could not be herself. Most of all, Bridget remembered how he had simply let go of their relationship the moment she dared to show her true self. When she tried to grow wings, he simply let her go.

This had hurt her for a long time. She did not understand many things but she had finally gotten to the point that she had forgiven herself. She had forgiven herself for not being strong enough. For giving the responsibility of being happy, of being her true self  to somebody else. Bridget suddenly looked up and readied herself to get the closure she had always wanted to.

"Listen Wafs," she started.
"... Na unakaa poa, umekata weight..." Wafs began. Bridget cut him short right there.
"You ended what we had. You could not allow me to grow without being in your clutches. You wanted to monitor how far I flew. You wanted to change me into a trophy woman. You wanted a different woman who was not me. You were lazy and afraid to fight for me and for us. You were not man enough to accept me for me. You imagined that your six figure salary would impress me and when it did not, you let me drop. You expected me to worship the floor you walked on. You refused to accept that all I wanted was the real you because you did not accept the real you. "

" The way you ended things left no room for friendship. That bridge was burned down.You burned it down, completely razed it to the ground. So, I will appreciate it if you  kept your conversations to a bare minimum of a courteous hallo. Anything past that should only be because I am the last person left on earth to save your life. Whether I am fat or thin, or look good or bad is beyond your scope of concerns. "

With that passionate speech, Bridget opened  the cheque  on the table and slid in a crisp 1000 note, took her bag and stood to leave.

She somewhat felt lighter. As she turned to look at Wafs sitting at the table wondering what to do with himself, Bridget knew she had made the first steps away from the bridge. She was finally and firmly on the other side.

The 🌉 🌉  had not only been crossed but she knew that it had been completely destroyed. With a new spring in her step, she walked into the hot Nairobi afternoon.

          - THE END-