This is a topic I appreciate plagues a considerable number of women especially those who are just through form four and through first year to college.
I am just going to dive straight into what I am compelled to say. some are from my own experience and some from friends experiences and some well, common sense.
ladies, girls when you get pregnant prematurely, it seems like its the end of life but it is not. its the beginning of a journey that you have to find the strength to embark.
Pregnancy is not a guarantee of love, or commitment. please, understand that.
Pregnancy is not a license to make horrible decisions for your life. You can still pick yourself up, dust yourself and move on.
Your child's sperm donor is not the only man remaining in this world, there is a man out there who loves you just as you are. baby and all- give him a chance.
Not all men are your child sperm donor, good men still exist.
when you get pregnant, don't make the decision to run away for the man, talk it over with your partner before making a decision. As rarely celebrated as they are, there are some men who take their responsibilities quite seriously.
There is always help, take it.
As many times as you fail, pick yourself up.
Abuse is not love- small girls move on.
harsh- if you come to my place to seek assylum from a sorry excuse of a man, and then take my advice and shove it down the drain plus all the help I have given you and still make the choice to leave and return to your hell: thats stupid. And be prepeared to face your hell, only leave when you are sure you are out.
There is no other way to say this.
Thursday 31 March 2016
Monday 28 March 2016
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: I CANNOT LET IT GO
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: I CANNOT LET IT GO: a few days ago, I was privileged to attend the inaugural Kenya Actors Guild Monologue challenge as a performer. I have never prepared for ...
I CANNOT LET IT GO
a few days ago, I was privileged to attend the inaugural Kenya Actors Guild Monologue challenge as a performer.
I have never prepared for a role quite as much as I had for this particular one. I inquired from my friend who is a talented creative writer and we discussed. i rehearsed in the bathroom , in the bus, in my head. Everywhere, literally.
I was determined to top any other performance I had ever delivered. I was sure i would be at least top three, I prayed and prayed that God would see me through this time because I had been on that stage before and I had not liked my performance very much{ a stage like that}.
Because, the performance is not what I am dwelling on, I will say that I never wonand my marks would not hvae earned me top 5. I was devastated even though at the back of mind, I knew I had done better than last time.
It has been 4 days since another girl was announced the winner and i have not stopped thinking of my next performance. I have researched the internet, I have reviewed the judges comments, I have not prayed yet, I am afraid God may not answer but I will get around to doing that because after all, fear is simply demonic.
[I will explain another day}
I am obssesed to say the least and I absolutely believe that until I get my spot among the top I cannot rest. I simply cannot let it go.
And I cannot wait for the next challenge to be better. I am working hard so that I can achieve my goals.
Okay, mostly this one called monologue challenge, I don't think as for now I even remember any other goal.I really want to mostly top my previous performance and it just occurred to me that if I approach this challenge like a personal challenge to better myself and my craft, the victory will be so unexpected because when that day comes- the victory will be sure and absolute.
you know kind of like when the judges for the got talent shows press the golden buzzer.
I have never prepared for a role quite as much as I had for this particular one. I inquired from my friend who is a talented creative writer and we discussed. i rehearsed in the bathroom , in the bus, in my head. Everywhere, literally.
I was determined to top any other performance I had ever delivered. I was sure i would be at least top three, I prayed and prayed that God would see me through this time because I had been on that stage before and I had not liked my performance very much{ a stage like that}.
Because, the performance is not what I am dwelling on, I will say that I never wonand my marks would not hvae earned me top 5. I was devastated even though at the back of mind, I knew I had done better than last time.
It has been 4 days since another girl was announced the winner and i have not stopped thinking of my next performance. I have researched the internet, I have reviewed the judges comments, I have not prayed yet, I am afraid God may not answer but I will get around to doing that because after all, fear is simply demonic.
[I will explain another day}
I am obssesed to say the least and I absolutely believe that until I get my spot among the top I cannot rest. I simply cannot let it go.
And I cannot wait for the next challenge to be better. I am working hard so that I can achieve my goals.
Okay, mostly this one called monologue challenge, I don't think as for now I even remember any other goal.I really want to mostly top my previous performance and it just occurred to me that if I approach this challenge like a personal challenge to better myself and my craft, the victory will be so unexpected because when that day comes- the victory will be sure and absolute.
you know kind of like when the judges for the got talent shows press the golden buzzer.
Saturday 26 March 2016
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MY EASTER ENCOUNTER...
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MY EASTER ENCOUNTER...: This is a simple story about a simple girl and her simple Easter. Well, Good Friday if I was to be precise. i just could not wait to share m...
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MY EASTER ENCOUNTER...
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MY EASTER ENCOUNTER...: This is a simple story about a simple girl and her simple Easter. Well, Good Friday if I was to be precise. i just could not wait to share m...
MY EASTER ENCOUNTER...
This is a simple story about a simple girl and her simple Easter. Well, Good Friday if I was to be precise. i just could not wait to share my Good Friday experience.
I spent the whole day catching up on episodes of Undercover boss, you see my recent abode has Zuku installation so I make a point to watch almost every episode of the series and any other thing I wish to know via you tube. Taking advantage of opportunity. I digress(I picked up that line in some article I read, I liked it)
So, later at about 5 o'clock I went to church- ICC Imara Daima for a service. If I am being honest I was going because they said they had a play within the service.
Flash forward, the play was awesome. It was about Jesus of course and it really brought the point of the sacrifice Christ made for us home. Then the pastor stood up and i was like:"Really, you want to preach now?" You see , I have this very limited concentration thresh hold and many times i find difficult to listen for long periods of time and so, I just head the verse he read which I don't recall but it was about Nicodemus.
So, the sermon went by as i planned my next monologue- yeah. I just usually max out like that.
Then all of a sudden, I was back with the pastor as he was ushering us into prayer. He called on those who were not born again or wanted to re-dedicate their life to Christ afresh to go to the alatar, and the pastors and prayer warriours would pray with them.
I decided I was not in that category.
The spirit of God had other special plans for me, By the time the Minister of God reached the category for people who would just like to come to the Lord and lay their burdens, I was in tears. Like, I could not stop crying. Still, I stuck to my chair and said I would pray for myself, The more I resisted the more I cried. Tears rolled out freely and I could feel a great weariness just come over me. I kept telling myself that I was so tired and the tears flowed.
Then I checked and my neighbor ha gone to be prayed for. I decided that maybe God was giving me my own courage and so I got up to go to the altar.
The woman greeted me and asked my name. That is as far as I went, I now fully broke down, I could not even tell her what was wrong all I knew is that I was tired and needed help. I cried through the prayer and she resonated with the cry of my heart, that Lord return the joy. I knew that is exactly what I needed and was glad she was led to pray like that.
I know it doesn't sound possible but as we said Amen, the tears were gone and I felt secure. Just secure. I went to my seat with the feeling you get after a shower after a long day.
And that is my encounter with the Spirit of God, it is just too good to be kept to myself.
Happy Easter people!
I spent the whole day catching up on episodes of Undercover boss, you see my recent abode has Zuku installation so I make a point to watch almost every episode of the series and any other thing I wish to know via you tube. Taking advantage of opportunity. I digress(I picked up that line in some article I read, I liked it)
So, later at about 5 o'clock I went to church- ICC Imara Daima for a service. If I am being honest I was going because they said they had a play within the service.
Flash forward, the play was awesome. It was about Jesus of course and it really brought the point of the sacrifice Christ made for us home. Then the pastor stood up and i was like:"Really, you want to preach now?" You see , I have this very limited concentration thresh hold and many times i find difficult to listen for long periods of time and so, I just head the verse he read which I don't recall but it was about Nicodemus.
So, the sermon went by as i planned my next monologue- yeah. I just usually max out like that.
Then all of a sudden, I was back with the pastor as he was ushering us into prayer. He called on those who were not born again or wanted to re-dedicate their life to Christ afresh to go to the alatar, and the pastors and prayer warriours would pray with them.
I decided I was not in that category.
The spirit of God had other special plans for me, By the time the Minister of God reached the category for people who would just like to come to the Lord and lay their burdens, I was in tears. Like, I could not stop crying. Still, I stuck to my chair and said I would pray for myself, The more I resisted the more I cried. Tears rolled out freely and I could feel a great weariness just come over me. I kept telling myself that I was so tired and the tears flowed.
Then I checked and my neighbor ha gone to be prayed for. I decided that maybe God was giving me my own courage and so I got up to go to the altar.
The woman greeted me and asked my name. That is as far as I went, I now fully broke down, I could not even tell her what was wrong all I knew is that I was tired and needed help. I cried through the prayer and she resonated with the cry of my heart, that Lord return the joy. I knew that is exactly what I needed and was glad she was led to pray like that.
I know it doesn't sound possible but as we said Amen, the tears were gone and I felt secure. Just secure. I went to my seat with the feeling you get after a shower after a long day.
And that is my encounter with the Spirit of God, it is just too good to be kept to myself.
Happy Easter people!
Thursday 24 March 2016
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: THIS LITTLE FOX
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: THIS LITTLE FOX: Song of Solomon 2:15 " Catch for the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom"{New interna...
THIS LITTLE FOX
Song of Solomon 2:15 " Catch for the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom"{New international Version}
Gossip is defined as idle talk or rumor, especially about the private or personal affairs of others. {Wikipedia}. I feel compelled to add that it is an art of spreading rumor or perpetuating idle talk about the private or personal life of others.
gossip thrives in spreading information that is often times untrue. It thrives becuase usually, becasue there is a willing deliverer and a willing recipient. Let me skip the details of what gossip entails and how it circulates and try to explain the effects of gossip in our relationships.
Gossip usually gives birth to negative conclusions about the subject of the gossip. What this does, is that it makes those partaking in the gossip who am going to call gossips feel superior to the one they are talking about. Other times, it breeds jealousy among the gossips toward the gosippee. In any gossip groups, the gosippee is a friend. When feelings of superiority and/or jealousy begin arising between friends, then this relationship is headed for the woods. You see because these bad feelings are bred through gossip, the chances that these two friends will ever sit and talk about their feelings are almost nil.Eventually, their friendship dies.
This is something that could have been avoided if we had just stuck to highlighting the good stuff about our friends and kept mum about the personal life of others. Seriously, don't we have enough of our own lives to last us eternity? Gossip takes away the ability to see and face our own issues and work on them effectively and instead focus on idle talk that wastes our very valuable time.
Gossip hinders us from helping our friend when they really need our help. We already have preconceived notions we gathered from a gossip session and so it is quite difficult to actually help a friend who really needs our help. in extreme circumstances, people have been known to even commit suicide because of friends not being there for them or spreading a funny rumor about them.
Gossip takes us away from our pursuit of righteousness, it in itself is a sin and it ushers a million other sins therefore taking us away from God and this is not a good position to be in.
This little fox destroys our vineyard of love. it is imperative for us to catch them and burn them so as to have healthy love vineyards. Whether you are the deliverer or the recipient, how about you try to change how you live and interact with your friends.
Let us have a healthy vineyard of love rid of little foxes weekend !
Gossip is defined as idle talk or rumor, especially about the private or personal affairs of others. {Wikipedia}. I feel compelled to add that it is an art of spreading rumor or perpetuating idle talk about the private or personal life of others.
gossip thrives in spreading information that is often times untrue. It thrives becuase usually, becasue there is a willing deliverer and a willing recipient. Let me skip the details of what gossip entails and how it circulates and try to explain the effects of gossip in our relationships.
Gossip usually gives birth to negative conclusions about the subject of the gossip. What this does, is that it makes those partaking in the gossip who am going to call gossips feel superior to the one they are talking about. Other times, it breeds jealousy among the gossips toward the gosippee. In any gossip groups, the gosippee is a friend. When feelings of superiority and/or jealousy begin arising between friends, then this relationship is headed for the woods. You see because these bad feelings are bred through gossip, the chances that these two friends will ever sit and talk about their feelings are almost nil.Eventually, their friendship dies.
This is something that could have been avoided if we had just stuck to highlighting the good stuff about our friends and kept mum about the personal life of others. Seriously, don't we have enough of our own lives to last us eternity? Gossip takes away the ability to see and face our own issues and work on them effectively and instead focus on idle talk that wastes our very valuable time.
Gossip hinders us from helping our friend when they really need our help. We already have preconceived notions we gathered from a gossip session and so it is quite difficult to actually help a friend who really needs our help. in extreme circumstances, people have been known to even commit suicide because of friends not being there for them or spreading a funny rumor about them.
Gossip takes us away from our pursuit of righteousness, it in itself is a sin and it ushers a million other sins therefore taking us away from God and this is not a good position to be in.
This little fox destroys our vineyard of love. it is imperative for us to catch them and burn them so as to have healthy love vineyards. Whether you are the deliverer or the recipient, how about you try to change how you live and interact with your friends.
Let us have a healthy vineyard of love rid of little foxes weekend !
Monday 21 March 2016
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MASK OFF(chapter two0
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MASK OFF(chapter two0: ...the Reason why they would think that my reasons were stupid is because they were. i would cry and sometimes still do because my dad shout...
MASK OFF(chapter two0
...the Reason why they would think that my reasons were stupid is because they were. i would cry and sometimes still do because my dad shouted at me or somebody made reference to my inability to be a good mother to my son. I remember one time I threw all caution to the wind and went out to meet my friends out of town. things did not go according to plan and I returned home a little late. I even bought vegetables in town so that i would not delay supper any later. on reaching home, my sister was so pissed at me for leaving my child with her for that long. i should have told her for how long I was going to be out. I understand that but for me the words she chose too use just cut me into pieces. Any comment that comes my way in the form of criticism is often construed as an attack on me as a person.
Well, that has been my life for so long but I guess that if you are alive, you have to live. I am a firm believer in God and his existence and that God has a lot of love to give. Truth be told God has always had my back and I believe he is the sole purpose that I did not crawl into deeper darkness. I believe he is my strength.
Now I hope you don't expect a dramatic turn around but what happened and is still happening is what I call a David journey. I call it because David was so imperfect but he always stood up to to his mistakes and repented and he ended up as being the man after God's own heart.
In 2015, God sent several people in my life who have helped work on my esteem but I think it is important to say that they were just guides. The real person to pull out of darkness is me.
God sent me a lady called Ruth who taught me to appreciate my body. We literally went through what clothes I could wear and encouraged me to appreciate who I was. She even took her time to apply make up on me and I felt good. This encounter taught me that How you look on the outside contributes to a good extent how you look on the inside. I get it now, when you dress to dress and not to cover up, and feel comfortable, it actually boosts your mood and ultimately self-esteem.
God sent me my current boyfriend who is my number one cheerleader and when stuff is going downward spiral, he is there to hold me back up in his own way. No, he is far from Alejandro but I am glad he is there. Now, before you think that I am finding my validity in a man, that's not it. The fact is that I needed help and I take it from wherever it comes from. And the point is, I am simply learning lessons about me that i had never known before. That I had never known exist.
My home church K.A.G Kakamega town Youth fraternity is a small community of angels. Everyone there accepts everyone. This group really believes in God and accepts people just the way they are. Everyone knows who behaves how and they are accepted just like that. It is a pleasure to be with them and they are a great support system in terms of just being in a safe space to make mistakes and learn and be who you are.
Acting is a great therapeutic tool. it is what I do best. I have been told that I have done well by some of the best directors in Kenya. So, what stops me from being a a star? Nothing.
Prayer plays a key role and I believe that finding yourself in Christ day by day helps make life enjoyable and worth living.
Low self esteem is a poison that slowly kills the joy of life and even though people like me really need a lot of validation to prop us up, it is our own decision to change our life. I made the decision and now am on the journey. I still cry but I understand it now as a healing process and not as a condemnation phase. Oh yes, I removed some clothes from my wardrobe and I actually use lipstick- purple by the way. I get that I am not the only person in the world and the world is made up of other people.
I appreciate myself and I want to baptize this blog and re-name it GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA and be true to what I put in it as my stuff.
Thank you.
Well, that has been my life for so long but I guess that if you are alive, you have to live. I am a firm believer in God and his existence and that God has a lot of love to give. Truth be told God has always had my back and I believe he is the sole purpose that I did not crawl into deeper darkness. I believe he is my strength.
Now I hope you don't expect a dramatic turn around but what happened and is still happening is what I call a David journey. I call it because David was so imperfect but he always stood up to to his mistakes and repented and he ended up as being the man after God's own heart.
In 2015, God sent several people in my life who have helped work on my esteem but I think it is important to say that they were just guides. The real person to pull out of darkness is me.
God sent me a lady called Ruth who taught me to appreciate my body. We literally went through what clothes I could wear and encouraged me to appreciate who I was. She even took her time to apply make up on me and I felt good. This encounter taught me that How you look on the outside contributes to a good extent how you look on the inside. I get it now, when you dress to dress and not to cover up, and feel comfortable, it actually boosts your mood and ultimately self-esteem.
God sent me my current boyfriend who is my number one cheerleader and when stuff is going downward spiral, he is there to hold me back up in his own way. No, he is far from Alejandro but I am glad he is there. Now, before you think that I am finding my validity in a man, that's not it. The fact is that I needed help and I take it from wherever it comes from. And the point is, I am simply learning lessons about me that i had never known before. That I had never known exist.
My home church K.A.G Kakamega town Youth fraternity is a small community of angels. Everyone there accepts everyone. This group really believes in God and accepts people just the way they are. Everyone knows who behaves how and they are accepted just like that. It is a pleasure to be with them and they are a great support system in terms of just being in a safe space to make mistakes and learn and be who you are.
Acting is a great therapeutic tool. it is what I do best. I have been told that I have done well by some of the best directors in Kenya. So, what stops me from being a a star? Nothing.
Prayer plays a key role and I believe that finding yourself in Christ day by day helps make life enjoyable and worth living.
Low self esteem is a poison that slowly kills the joy of life and even though people like me really need a lot of validation to prop us up, it is our own decision to change our life. I made the decision and now am on the journey. I still cry but I understand it now as a healing process and not as a condemnation phase. Oh yes, I removed some clothes from my wardrobe and I actually use lipstick- purple by the way. I get that I am not the only person in the world and the world is made up of other people.
I appreciate myself and I want to baptize this blog and re-name it GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA and be true to what I put in it as my stuff.
Thank you.
Saturday 19 March 2016
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MASK OFF(chapter one)
GLORIA TSUMA OWICHIRA: MASK OFF(chapter one): I am generally a very talkative girl when presented with the opportunity. I can also be annoyingly quiet when in unfamiliar territory. Well...
MASK OFF(chapter one)
I am generally a very talkative girl when presented with the opportunity. I can also be annoyingly quiet when in unfamiliar territory.
Well, that is what I tell myself. The truth is that I have suffered self esteem issues since I joined high school. I always believe that I am not good enough and until I feel that I am or somebody else points that out in me, then I would rather shut up and let those who care to believe, believe what they will. I am still battling with those issues up to now and have never really let myself out to anybody seeing as I am too scared to reveal myself to the world. I would much rather wait to tailor make myself into what I believe the world wants before the great reveal.
It is this lack of self belief that has made me cry myself to sleep so many nights, it is this same disbelief in myself that has made me comfortable when people label me as the tasteless one when it came to so many life matters. It is also this disbelief in myself that has led me to be so vulnerable to pain and hurt because i have confused the little attention i receive from people as a sign of undying love. My need to please people I deem society worthy has caused me embarrassment so many times. Many a times, i have simply locked myself in my room and cried and then came out to face my life- a life I have not loved for some time now.I have not bought poison but have considered the world without me a couple of times. I am afraid of hell so I don't think I would go that way.
This low self esteem has made me wear clothes that could be called trashy in a bid to prove that I too could fit in the fashion at that time or simply put on clothes because i was naked. I have a great body but for many years I have been ashamed at my curves, at my breasts. I did not like them at all and often wondered why God saw it fit to give me a booty like mine. Or why he made my breasts sprout in class five when none of mu fellow classmates had.
It is this same self esteem that made/makes me argue all the time because I am so desperate to prove that I can make a point too. That I was still relevant.
I ended up pregnant after dating a guy for two weeks. This I must say was among the last nails on my coffin of wallowing in self hate. Now I knew that I was really stupid. I struggled to keep it together after escaping an abortion operation by a whisker.
Every man that said past a hallo to me was a husband material. I desperately wanted to feel needed and loved.I wanted to feel important so desperately.
Oh yes, I laughed but I knew that I was a mess inside me, a ticking time bomb. My crying episodes went a notch higher but It was just me and my sheets and sometimes God. I had learned that you didn't rub your eyes when you cry because that was what caused eye swelling and the redness. and should someone ask me why I was crying, I knew the answer would never make sense to them.
(join me for chapter two)
Well, that is what I tell myself. The truth is that I have suffered self esteem issues since I joined high school. I always believe that I am not good enough and until I feel that I am or somebody else points that out in me, then I would rather shut up and let those who care to believe, believe what they will. I am still battling with those issues up to now and have never really let myself out to anybody seeing as I am too scared to reveal myself to the world. I would much rather wait to tailor make myself into what I believe the world wants before the great reveal.
It is this lack of self belief that has made me cry myself to sleep so many nights, it is this same disbelief in myself that has made me comfortable when people label me as the tasteless one when it came to so many life matters. It is also this disbelief in myself that has led me to be so vulnerable to pain and hurt because i have confused the little attention i receive from people as a sign of undying love. My need to please people I deem society worthy has caused me embarrassment so many times. Many a times, i have simply locked myself in my room and cried and then came out to face my life- a life I have not loved for some time now.I have not bought poison but have considered the world without me a couple of times. I am afraid of hell so I don't think I would go that way.
This low self esteem has made me wear clothes that could be called trashy in a bid to prove that I too could fit in the fashion at that time or simply put on clothes because i was naked. I have a great body but for many years I have been ashamed at my curves, at my breasts. I did not like them at all and often wondered why God saw it fit to give me a booty like mine. Or why he made my breasts sprout in class five when none of mu fellow classmates had.
It is this same self esteem that made/makes me argue all the time because I am so desperate to prove that I can make a point too. That I was still relevant.
I ended up pregnant after dating a guy for two weeks. This I must say was among the last nails on my coffin of wallowing in self hate. Now I knew that I was really stupid. I struggled to keep it together after escaping an abortion operation by a whisker.
Every man that said past a hallo to me was a husband material. I desperately wanted to feel needed and loved.I wanted to feel important so desperately.
Oh yes, I laughed but I knew that I was a mess inside me, a ticking time bomb. My crying episodes went a notch higher but It was just me and my sheets and sometimes God. I had learned that you didn't rub your eyes when you cry because that was what caused eye swelling and the redness. and should someone ask me why I was crying, I knew the answer would never make sense to them.
(join me for chapter two)
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